I am Home

I am Home
By Christina Lamson

As I paused to savor that very moment butterflies could be felt fluttering in the pit of my stomach, my nerves vibrated with pure excitement, and a smile stretched from ear to ear. I took a step forward and entered Rounds 204 for the first time this summer. Suddenly I knew that I was exactly where I wanted to be; I was home.

After week two of this five week institute came to a close on Friday, I took time to reflect on the many experiences that I have already had and the close community that has already been formed. Where else can you spend an afternoon laughing about something as simple as edamame and then someone uses that word in a beautiful piece of poetry. Or have a name of the river, such as the Pemigewassett be important to so many.

I have worn many shoes with the NWPNH: starting as a fellow, then becoming a returning fellow, taking part in the leadership meetings, and now having the honor to becoming a staff member. Each year brings news challenges. As scary as they were at first, I have tackled these challenges head on. Each of these experiences continue to make my time with the NWPNH the most enriching experiences of my career.

Speaking of experiences, in a morning prompt this week, each person was given an index card containing a word chosen specifically for them on it. Its purpose was to inspire a piece of writing. As each card was given out, I waited in anticipation to see what word awaited me. When that moment came I looked at my card and the word revealed was: REVISE. I pondered its meaning, trying to create an explanation for what purpose it was chosen, and then I reflected on what that word meant to me. My mind flooded with thoughts, all of which represented so many incredible memories I have had with the summer institute. From my first year’s struggle learning what it meant to revise my work, my thinking, my beliefs; to reflecting upon my beliefs on life, teaching, and writing theories during my returning fellow inquiry group; to revising the role I take on at the summer institute; and finally how much of my life I have truly revised as a result of everything I have learned as an member of the National Writing Project. I no longer need to ponder the purpose of my word for the past three years I have come to live, eat, and breathe the word revise.

The Summer Institute is always revising as well. Every summer presents a completely different experience because the institute evolves as we create the experience with one another. Here we learn together and celebrate our experiences with one another in an equitable environment that is non judgemental and requires that we assume the best in each other. I have been asked many times: “Why? Why would you give up five weeks in the summer to do such intensive work instead of enjoying the summer fun you could have?” My response is always immediate: “Who wouldn’t want to be in such a supportive environment, full of incredible individuals dedicated to learning and growing together, in a way that intensely immerses us in the same experiences we provide our students? A place where I can use reflective practices to revise my teaching theories and practices to provide an optimal learning environment for my students and I to learn in. And where I can become the best me I can be. 

As I sit here and reflect on my why the NWPNH is so important to me, I am brought back in time to my first year as a fellow. That year I constantly judged myself against everyone else, even though I was not supposed too. I won’t lie, there are glimpses of moments that I still do this. I admit I am not the best writer, by any means, and definitely not the most intelligent, but attending the past few summer institutes have taught me that it doesn’t matter. The only person I need to judge myself against is me. And I continue to become a better writer, better teacher, and better teacher of writing every time I am here. That is why walking into Rounds 204 on the first day, and everyday will always give me that feeling of pure happiness, the feeling I hope to never forget. The feeling that I am where I am meant to be: I am home!